If you don't know who she is, consider yourself BLESSED.

Did you miss me? Of course you did. And I'm sorry for the delay. But quite honestly, not much happened this week. Sure we have a sex scandal with a Georgia Pastor, an appeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell discharges, and I'm not even gonna TOUCH Christine O'Donnell. That one would just be too easy.

But there is always one person I can rely on to give me the sound-bite I need to start up my blog again for my 2 or 3 devoted readers. And her name.. Is Ann Coulter.

Now, many of you probably know her. This woman gained as much recognition for her foul mouth as Paris Hilton did for her lascivious one. Some say she's an alien. But last time I checked you had to be intelligent life to get that title.

Now, Ms. Coulter has been known to be one of the most anti-gay speakers around. This woman even called John Edwards the F-word to his face. But as of last night, she stooped to a new low, as she was invited to be the guest speaker at "Homocon," the annual ball hosted by the Gay Republican GOProud group.

I don't know WHERE to begin. First of all, GOProud? Gay Republicans? I mean that brings the phrase "Let's not think about the pink elephant in the room" into a whole new realm of interpretation. I mean I have Republican tendencies when it comes to voting on some issues, I might even be bi-curious sometimes around elections. But for the most part, it seems somewhat odd that there would be a group focused on advancing the political party that sets their own rights back. That's like going 85 on the highway and then throwing the car into reverse. (Legal disclaimer, DON'T try that just to prove my point).

And second of all, ANN F-WORD COULTER?? What happened, was Pat Buchanan not available? The man who said if you allow gay marriage, people will start marrying animals?! (although that would be nice, I would marry a duck so he could put the wedding tab on his BILL... Hi-yo!) This woman makes Sarah Palin look like Stephen Hawking. Did you NOT expect her to show up, open her fowl mouth and say something beyond reproach? Well.... guess what she did?

"Marriage is not a civil right – you’re not black. You know that gays are among the wealthiest demographic groups in the country! Blacks must be looking at the gays saying, ‘Why can’t we be oppressed like that?’”

Um.... how do you follow that act? What if the next speaker happens to be... gasp!... an African American perhaps?

So I'm guessing it's probably a good idea at this point to keep those silly gay marriages illegal. Because after all, if they weren't then the highly wealthy gay couples would infest the black neighborhoods with those shiny cars and perfectly decorated mansions, and the pink elephants would be forced to marry their partners.

Guess I'll just go find that duck.