The last blog. The final goodbye.

So many times in my life, I've heard people say "Those who live life to the fullest, live without regrets."

That my friends, is bullshit.

Regrets are just a part of life.  We are human.  We make mistakes.  Saying that we would all live without regrets means that none of us would ever learn to change our ways.  We would all just walk around acting cocky, and if anything bad happened, we would just say to ourselves, "Well, I'm sad that happened, but at least I won't lose sleep over it."  We need regrets in life.  History will always repeat itself.  But without regrets, so will we.

I took a long flight home last night.  After 1 year, 11 months, 17 days and 22 hours, I made the long journey home, to a world of unknowns and confusion.  I came home to a world that is on the verge of changing the laws of the land, and yet still wants to drag its feet.

What's amazing to think, is that there are millions of blogs, in hundreds of countries, read by thousands of people, and yet in the age where a single tweet can get a person fired, or expose a criminal, or start an online revolution, the rantings of a disgruntled man over a simple request managed to reach a target audience only as wide as his always faithful supporters and friends.  But, do I have regrets about writing this blog?  Hell no.  

This blog was never meant to be an online sensation.  Hell, I was amazed if anyone ever read it.  Half the time I wrote it just to vent my own anger in a humorous tone, and try to shed some light on an otherwise dark situation.  Someday the world may change.  I just hope that my blog became a butterfly effect.  One person read it, and somehow that changed the world.

In closing, for good, let me just say, it's been an honor, to my readers.  I may not have written everyday, but when I did it was important.  

Life is full of regrets.  But as for myself?  I have none.  No, seriously.  It's been a rollercoaster ride, but I still made it back to the concession stand.  Regrets will come and go.  Ironically, my favorite song of all, has lyrics that i completely disagree with.  Radiohead's "No Surprises." The best song ever.  But one that keeps saying "No alarms and no surprises, please."  That's just not meant to be.

Life will be full of alarms, and surprises.  Some will make us laugh.  Some will make us cry.  But In 1 year, 11 months, 17 days and 22 hours, I had lots of surprises.  And I grew to be a better and wiser man.  I wish I could change things, and just snap my fingers and make everything and everyone I wanted, come straight to me.  But I can't.  Because too many of the people in this world still have a big regret yet to feel.  The regret of withholding my rights.

Am I bitter?  Nah.  I got that out of the way long ago.  I'm sad to be apart from my love, but I'm happy in thinking my butterfly effect will soon start flapping its wings.  

It's funny to think that, although the world is changing, that sunset has always been rainbow colors.  

Homo.  Over and out.

Election 2012: If only the elephant were pink...

For months, I have been glued to the television and internet, watching polls jump up and down.  I watched all three debates, and listened to both sides plead their case.  Yes, the two had their ups and downs.  And yes, they both had convincing arguments here and there.  But in all three debates, one topic was not discussed.  And if you're reading this, I don't have to tell you what that one topic was.

Now, it's no surprise that most gay or pro-gay people vote democrat.  But why?  Lots of people will say things like "Well the economy is more important.  If you can't get married, at least you'd have a job.  You should focus on what is the most important for the country."

And that's always heard far too much.  "This is more important for the rest of us."  It's sort of like telling the 9th person at a party that the pizza only had 8 slices, so have some chips instead.  "But I wanted pizza!"  All joking aside, there is no right or wrong answer to this.  And shockingly enough, I am about to say something my few avid readers will be shocked to hear.  If you do vote for Romney, I won't un-friend you on facebook.  I won't yell at your face.  I won't say things like "you obviously don't care about me not having equal rights."  Because I don't have the right... to tell you who to vote for.

It's not that 50 percent of America is completely Anti-gay.  Most surveys nowadays say the majority now in fact supports it.  And yes, there are even gay republicans.  But the reason most people don't look at equal rights for gays as their primary reason for choosing a candidate is simply because it has not directly affected them, at least not enough to consider it a factor in their decision.  They haven't seen how it can keep a family separated, or out of the country, or truly felt what it is like to be treated as unequal.  You can't just yell at someone "This is what it feels like!" And expect them to just get it.

Unless voters are directly affected by an issue, or at least moved by it, it isn't likely to be their deciding factor.  The unemployed guy will listen to debates about jobs.  The student will listen to talk about college loans.  And as always, the factor most affecting them, will ultimately make their decision.

But long ago, a white man probably said, "you know what, I think black people should have the same rights as me."  And he went to the polls and voted for that.  Longer back, a man said to himself "You know what, it is silly that my wife isn't allowed to vote too.  I think I'll vote for her to have equal rights."  They didn't throw their votes away.  They stood up for the underdog.  Maybe someday, history will write pages about how amazing it was that in 2012, civil rights was still an issue.

I did vote.  I sent my ballot across an ocean in the mail, to make sure my voice was heard.  And yes, I checked Obama's name.  He's had his ups and downs, sure, but he became the first president ever to publicly say he endorsed my rights.  And he brought many more to me that I didn't have.  If you read my blog, and if you are on the fence about what candidate to vote for, then I hope my words over the months and years influence you to be on my side of history.  Please share this blog link with others.  Even if I only influence one vote out there, and even if your share only influences one.  They all add up.

The world is changing, one mind at a time.  It just takes a long time, for everyone to be affected, and no one to feel left out.  We just need to order two pizzas at the party.

Please share.

Chillax. It's JUST chicken.

Oh Chick-fil-a.  How you have really gone and done it.  Made a mediocre sandwich that is.  Cause I couldn't care less about the other stuff.

As anyone actually reading this silly blog may know, Chick-Fil-A came under fire this week as their CEO openly bashed the gay community, and as a result recieved one of the worst social media tortures in corporate history.  And I am here, ironically, to defend HIM.

Yes, that's right, I'm defending him.  Because I know what it is like to say what I think and what I believe, and have the entire world yell at me for it.  It's just his problem that he said it in 2012, and not ten years ago when this backlash would not have been possible. 

The reason i fully support him, is because this week, for the first time in our history, the common became the minority.  the man who said what we have heard time and time again, was all of a sudden heckled for his point of view.  Which just goes to show, just how quickly our society is changing. 

15 years ago I didn't even know what the word 'gay' really meant.  I struggled to find people to talk to, to listen to me, to even 'cure' me of my thoughts.  15 years later, a multinational corporation can be banned from cities just for saying the things that, 15 years ago, seemed to be more than just the social norm.  they were the guidelines. 

So, Chick-Fil-A.  I stand by you.  I will not eat your chicken, because at the end of the day it does still go against what i stand for.  Oh and that and the fact that you aren't in London and I'd still rather have Wendy's if I had the choice. 

But I stand by you because, now you know how i felt.  Now you know what it's like.  Now you know the feelings of saying to the world "Look, this is how I feel and what I believe," and having a world come back with threats and anger.  Welcome to my youth. 

Times are changing.  Whether you like it or not.  Love is everlasting.  Chicken is not.  If you want my kids to someday eat at your establishment, try to separate the personal and professional. 

And would it kill you to put some Ranch Dressing on those sandwiches?

Guess what NC homophobes? you just screwed YOURSELF.

Today marks yet another setback for the gay rights cause. Amendment 1 in North Carolina passed overwhelming, barring gay couples from having the right to marry.

Now technically, anyone that did their homework or read the fine print would know that gay marriage was already illegal in the state. So this amendment did nothing to change or help gay rights that were already banned. But what it did do was take away so many basic rights, that thousands of straight (yes, straight) couples in the state can no longer have.

Par example: Domestic violence laws protecting people in an unmarried partnerships might be severely weakened.

Unmarried parents could no longer have the same child custody and visitation rights as married parents.

Private agreements between unmarried couples might not longer have a legal basis. This means, for example, that if a couple who has cohabited and raised children together for years decides to separate, the wealthier partner would not be legally obligated to divide property with his or her partner.

The law could interfere with unmarried partners' end-of-life arrangements, such as wills, trusts, and medical powers of attorney.

Employers would no longer have to provide benefits, such as health insurance, to the partners of unmarried employees.

I just love how the "queers taking over the world" is still such an important issue, so much so that we would rather see unwed families go without insurance or benefits, we would rather see unwed women not be able to get a restraining order against an abusive boyfriend, and watch strong families torn apart from basic benefits and human rights, just to make sure they never, ever reach that alter. 

So, North Carolina. Congratulations. As one of the highest divorce rate states in the country, you can now sleep easy, unless of course youre a kid with divorced parents or sleeping next to an abusive partner. Is that ironic, that divorced people might be the most affected by this law, in a state with one of the highest rates?
Kick the horse and see what happens...

In closing, let me say this, borrowed from a friend.

Love wins in the end.
Today, love did not win.
Thus, this is not the end.

And when love does finally win? You are going to look like such a ****.

Can't we all just get along?

some will look at this picture and think "aw cute, the times are changing." Others may look at it and say "how disgusting." Hopefully not too many of my readers think the latter, because if they did, I seriously wonder why they would be my readers.

Brandon Morgan, a US Marine Corps who had served 3 consecutive deployments to the Middle East, just wanted to kiss his husband. Now yes, it may differ slightly from the classic 1940's picture of a soldier grabbing his girl, but 70 plus years later, how hard is it to accept this?

Did "dont ask dont tell?" save the military? did overturning it expose us to worldwide humiliation and more towel flings in the military locker rooms? Sadly, no. Nothing happened. Except this.

I'll keep this one short and sweet. To the haters, to the preachers, to the believers of injustice, to those who think being gay is and always will be.. 'a sin', take your mind out of the gutter for one second, and imagine this.

Imagine fighting for and potentially dying for, a country that wont even allow you the basic rights others have. Not since the Tuskeegee airman, has this happened. Imagine fighting in a foreign country, knowing your partner wont even be allowed into the hospital if you are fatally wounded. But even worse, imagine fighting, and living, and surviving, only to come home and kiss your one true love, with boos in the background. Tonight, I salute Brandon Morgan. A true American hero. Fighting the fight, both on and off, the battlefield.

And to quote another famous James, Mr Baldwin to be exact, "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is the battle, love is the war. Love is growing up."

Go start a riot, with the one you love.

It's ironic. we're still not equals. And yet we seem to have more power.

The title says it all, doesn't it? I am still not treated as an equal in America. (which is why I'm currently not IN America, oh did you not get that memo? TPS report?) If you haven't seen the movie Office Space you won't get that joke, so dont try.

I hate to say it, but Mark Zuckerberg saved me. Now don't worry, i haven't joined a cult. Zuckerberg is a nice jewish name, and last time I checked there weren't too many jewish cults. (i still have not come up with a joke for Jewish cult but I welcome any submissions). Did facebook save me? no. It just ensured that all those "hi how are ya?" people from college could send me "hi how are ya's" online. But, in a way, Marky and all the others that revolutionized the internet, changed the gay community, forever.

40 years ago, gay was just, unheard of. Unless you went to remote bars in tiny dark alleys in big cities, you werent going to meet anyone else who sympathized. 200 years ago, Gay meant 'happy'. So all the guys who told their wives "honey, i'm gay" just got responses like "well that's good to hear! I'm so glad." the message got misinterpreted. And flash forward.

30 years ago, gay meant, well, sick. Not just disgusting sick. But in the 80's if you were gay, it usually was followed by, "are you HIV positive?" Like God had sent HIV to kill all of us. And don't get me wrong, I do love me some God. I may not be religious but I'm always someone on his side. But, by that logic, what was bird flu? God just said "I'm really tired of all those damn things flying around my window." Was the bubonic plague a way to bring down the buyer's market in real estate? Let's not even go there.

15 years ago, gay wasnt sick, it was 'confused.' "youre gay? well youre going through stuff obviously, maybe talking to someone will clear your head." If you were a shrink in the 90's, there was a good chance that BMW was being paid with 'confused' money.

But today, social media, internet, and free speech changed all that. 'gay' went from being 'dont discuss', to what's on the menu. What do I mean? News runs on a story. plain and simple. No story, no news. And in today's news, anything anti-gay almost gets shoved to the front. Did everyone all of a sudden agree that Gay was okay? Course not. But, for once, they were the stories getting attention. And in turn, they were the stories and the people, finally getting respect.

Case in point. Our wonderful man, who I am calling my "homophobic, idiotic, moronic, boneheaded, what-were-you-thinking, maybe you'll learn, oh who am i kidding you wont learn, just drag your wife by her hair back to your cave you neanderthal...." candidate. During an Occupy wall street interview this week, he let his true colors get the better of him. Someone should have told him not to draw in crayon like an infant....




In case you were wondering, he was of course fired today. The company said "His comment was offensive and inexcusable, and we have a policy of zero tolerance for such behavior". Would that have happened 10 years ago? 20? Definitely not 40.

So, my dear Faggot basher, As someone who works closely to staff new talent to companies looking to hire new employees, I am here and now offering my services, free of charge, to you. I understand how social media can hook up college friends or get a guy fired. And I sympathize. I will find you a new job. Given your qualifications, i.e. calling guys faggot and looking down at their trousers, I believe the local penitentary may have a vacancy that fits those requirements.

But just a side note. If I do get you in for an interview, please dont wear those oakley sunglasses. Just like 'getting away with calling someone a faggot', they are SOOOO 1990's. Get with the program, man.

Where did we go wrong? Oh right. Everywhere.

The blog used to be a few times a week. Then it became once a week. Then it became once a month. It's now been over two.

Some may have been thinking "well he moved. He accepted the inevitable, and threw in the towel. He saved his words for a fight that didn't seem worth fighting.

In truth, it was that, and so much more. Part of this blogger did just... give up. My anger my frustration, even when turned comical, did nothing. and the world around me just grew worse.

Today, I came across an article, that, amidst all the violence and chaos happening both in London and back home, sickened me. The article said that a gay couple of 19 years, one of whom is terminally ill with HIV and being cared for by his partner, will be deported in a few weeks time, back to Australia.

Here it is, if you wanted to read it.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/08/09/BAO71KKPEC.DTL&feed=rss.lgbt

So a couple, in a loving relationship for 19 years, legally married for 7, just doesnt cut it as a couple in the good old US of A. Send us your tired, your weak your poor, but God not the homos from Australia! I never realized just how much of a homophobe the Statue of Liberty was. Someone needs to have a talk with her.

This used to be the country that people spent their last dimes, dollars and breaths of air to get to. A hundred years ago, it was the land of opportunity, of prosperity, of freedom, and of hope.

What happened....

Forget the credit crisis. We began spending like a drunken sailor on a Friday night. I don't care about that. And we became the nation that elected a black president 50 years after the civil rights march, only to come down on the gay population. And I know, some will say "oh you have it so much easier, quit your whining." Part of me would love to so eloquently say to them, F**K YOU. But, I stand above that, and instead say this.

I WISH you could have lived my life for 5 minutes. To grow up feeling tortured, and punished, for doing nothing wrong. To live a life where someone can beat you up in the street and kill you for who you are, and you'll be lucky if it makes the evening news. To fall in love with someone but have to flee your own country just to be with him. And then to read that someone dying a horrible disease, must flee his partner and the country you were born into, just because he doesnt fit the 'mold' of a dying minority's preferences.

Today I look out my window. There are riots in the streets not far from where i live. Back home, there is a collapse of the entire monetary system. And in the midst of all this, a man dying has to hold his partner of almost 20 years, knowing that in a few weeks, it may be the last time they ever embrace.

Maybe John Lennon had it right. Riots will break out. Economies will crumble. But in the end, the human spirit is all we have left. All we ever had to rebuild, was love. So maybe, all you need.... is love.